I start at a new office tomorrow. I’ve taken this week to think about my life. My attitude, the way I see life and the way I want people to see me.
The new agent made me feel really important and wanted in the interview. With one other person in the office doing sales, it’s up to us to turn that office around and start making the numbers happen.
I feel a real urgency to make this happen for the agency, and for the agent. I really like her and I think I may feel really important in this new office, if I can help out.
Although I am very nervous about making sales again I think I can do it. The one thing that does make me nervous is keeping organized.
Outside of work, I want to be so much better. i have been doing insanity to lose weight and the results are showing. I feel stronger, I can stretch the way I used to in High school again. It makes me happy to see that I’m getting healthier.
I’m using a new face wash that is completely healing my face, and the working out is making me sweat out all the toxins.
I’m eating better too. I see myself making healthier choices and I have not had a soda in over a month. I do have to get better though.
My mental health is what I want to focus on more. I’m through being negative, I want to see the bright side of things again. I want to be known as the happy girl. I want people to need to hang out with me because I’m such a delight to be around.
Last weekend I was talking to my friends and I made a comment about having sex with heels on and Eddie, one of my best friends jokingly said, “why does everything lead to sex with you?”. He was making a joke, but he got me thinking. I do talk a lot about it, but that’s because that’s all I know. So for the next two weeks, I’m going to attempt to not talk about it. Even if I’m asked. I will just smile and change the subject.
I don’t believe in love, I believe in sex and friendship. to me, when people talk about being in love or having someone be their world, it sounds childish to me. I feel like they don’t know what they are talking about. Broken down the emotion is fake; it’s an intensified friendship mixed with lust.
I will honestly and 100% attempt to believe in what people consider love. I need to let go and relax. I almost did with a guy who had been talking to me and had asked me out. We were discussing attempting a relationship, but at the last minute he changed his mind and told me he wasn’t ready. I was ready to give up and just drop the idea, but that would be stupid.
Mental health is the first step. Everything else will follow. It’s all about How badly you want change.